Where do I start….It was sophomore year I met this guy during one of my choir concerts. I remember that day like it was yesterday. At first he was just a good friend of mine and I never really had interest in him, he was one of those good friends to hang out with and have a good time with. Then all of a sudden I started to get those feelings later on in January the butterflies in my tummy, excited to see him when we hung out. Then when I started to thing maybe I should give it a shot and ask him out but before I did I saw him holding hands with a girl in my grade then the jealousy kicked in and made my feelings stronger. I started to get more attached each day they broke up later for a reason im not going to say but I told him around May how I felt about him he told me that wasn’t such a good idea because him and his ex ex were kind of getting closer again. I understood and said okay and kept my true feelings hidden. It was around July when he was in Tennessee for college and we talked and he told me him and his ex ex were back together and that I was never even around the area of ever dating him. That broke my heart I didn’t talk to him for a long time till like the beginning of Junior year everything was fine I still liked him and we kept talking and talking before i knew it, it was close to thanksgiving and my birthday. We were talking one day and he had told me that him and his ex ex weren’t doing so great and then I started to think to my self actually before that conversation if I was in love with this guy. I told him I thought I was and he asked me if I knew what it was. I asked my mom the day before thanksgiving and she told me what it was and I told him that I felt that way about him…A few weeks later a little bit before his birthday he said that him and his girlfriend where back to being okay…Now it was after his birthday he was coming back from college for a little while and me and him planned to hang out one day so i got ready and waited and waited for a call so I decided I need to know whats the deal is come do find out he found out that his so called girlfriend did stuff behind his back. So I said go ahead you need to be with your guy friends and he said thank you and maybe we can hang out in a few days. Which we did and that was the best time I had with him we kissed that night and I could hear fireworks in my head he was my first make out for awhile we had things going but we never were actually a couple yet because he was trying to get over that girl finally it was then end of February and I said how much longer am I going to wait and I said you know what I’ll date this other guy and I did and I realized I really didn’t like that guy in that way really me and that guy broke up 2 days after prom which is a jerk move but whatever then me and the guy I really liked hung out a lot more and it felt like we were together just never made it official. Then there was this one day were he told me he was going camping and that his ex girlfriend that cheated on him was going to be there so I didn’t talk to him for awhile then we started talking again. Then it was my senior year finally, things were the same it was as if we were almost there to going out he told me a week after my birthday that he was thinking about giving me a shot a dating him which was great. The thing is you would think that no guy should say something like that but it didn’t bother me because to me it meant I finally got to be with the guy I loved. December came along and we hung out a few days after christmas and you see my parents were not found of him because of the way he would make me think we were close to dating and then rip my heart out. Which I can understand there point of view so I did a bad thing and lied and said I was with my friend anthony and I told him I had to do that and he got a little upset by it then my emotions kicked in and it felt like things were changing so the whole week of it almost being the new year 2010 and new years night he told me he was probably going back to that ex that cheated on him which I thought was stupid. I was heart broken and devastated we talked again like in February and we hung out again like maybe two times and then February came and right before it was going to end I had the feeling like something was different I asked him to if he would be fine if I worked were he worked and he said I don’t care but you might not like it that’s when it hit me that his ex was going there I said really how so he said “we’ll my ex goes there and this girl I kind of like” it felt like I got hit with a tone of brick a week or two later he told me he was changing the way he was and not be so physical and wait till he gets married to have sex again I told him good for you and then a few days later thats when he told me something that killed me. He goes “I have good news” I knew deep down what it was and I didn’t want to hear it I d