How do I get past the pain when a family member goes from being Jewish to a baptized Catholic?
ByI have been called a jerk, someone said having e as sister was punishment enough because I asked about a very old Jewish tradition of when people recited the prayer for the dead when a Jew willingly converted to Christianity. It was a knee jerk question asked of tremendous sorrow. I accept those perceptons. But I have been crying all week since my brother told me of his conversion months before. I hear my parents and grandparents crying from the grave over what I feel is a horrendous decision. It is indeed his life and he has a right to live
it how he sees fit, but I have felt and acted like I have been sitting shiva all week. He is fairly prominent and something in me tells me that this very public conversion has caused him to write his own death warrant. I cry for the conversion and I cry for my fears for his life. As I said to him and others, the pain in my heart is continual, the tears keep flowing, the anger never ceases. I am trying to get pastoral help both from a rabbi and perhaps a priest to get thru this. I have an elderly uncle who is not only heartbroken, but nauseous as I when we both read the extensive congratulations on line for my brother being embraced by the Catholic religion. Intolerant yes, I accept that as well. But to you Christians out there, despite what some think, Anti Semitism still is alive and well. Think of Mel Gibson. My cousin’s 13 year old son was a recent victim at soccer camps in both Indiana and Wisconsin. So it is hard for me to accept this decision I need help from people who have faced this dilemma.
5 Comments
August 30th, 2010 at 12:07 am
there are worse things to do…he could have been a muslim suicide bomber
August 30th, 2010 at 12:55 am
1) Mel Gibson is a heretic of the Catholic Church. He is not in communion with us, and nor is he our spokesman.
2) As far as pedophilia, if you do your research you will see that it is media hype and that the number of pedophiles in the Catholic Church is one of the lowest rates in the world for any type of organization. Your child would be more likely to be abused at soccer camps or at a school.
3) I think it’s hard for a lot of people when a family member changes religion. It’s not the end of the world. Antisemitism is NOT alive and well in the Catholic Church. I resent you even suggesting it. I too think you should speak to both a priest and a rabbi. As for all the Christian denominations out there I think he picked a mighty fine one filled with good people and God’s love.
We are all worshiping the same God, the God of Abraham. Take comfort in that.
August 30th, 2010 at 1:30 am
I understand your concern. My family are Hasidic Jews on my paternal side and it was my great-grandfather who converted to Protestant Christianity. Many in my family felt as you do. My father and grandfather insisted that I go to Hebrew school which I did as a young man. This has been a great blessing to me.
We as Catholic Christians see our faith as perfected Judaism. It was perfected by Christ the Messiah of the world prophesied by the prophet Isaiah. Jesus has fulfilled all of the prophesies of the prophets and fulfilled the law. This is hard teaching for the Jews who are fearful of being cut off from the familial relationship with God. But instead what your brother has done is embraced the New Covenant of the Messiah just as the first century Jews did who were the first Christians. I do not understand your statements that suggest his conversion has anything to do with antisemitism. May our Lord give you peace. God bless!
In Christ
Fr. Joseph
August 30th, 2010 at 1:40 am
Is your Jewish culture invading on your religion.
Meaning what is the point of being so very
Tied up in the Jewish customs. I have seen
A Jewish lady ate at my house and she said
That the serving spoon could not touch the persons
Plate when the food was being put on the plate.
Stuff like that makes me think that the Jewish people are tied up in
The customs and not in the faith based relationship with God.
The catholic religion is not a bad religion.
The catholic has saints if you do not know about
Saints they are people with a extremely good relationship with God.
Saint Francis of Assisi is one of the greatest saints
How can the catholic religion be false with these holy
People in it.
August 30th, 2010 at 2:26 am
You feel how you feel.
Your grief is genuine, and nobody has the right to say you shouldn’t feel it.
You should contact a local synagogue, if you don’t already belong to one, and arrange to say Kaddish.
I would suggest a Conservative synagogue. A Reform congregation might not be so sympathetic to the reasons for your grief, and an Orthodox shul might not be comfortable with a woman saying Kaddish.
May you find comfort among the mourners of Zion.
Allow yourself to grieve for an appropriate length of time, but no longer. Then, remember that you still do have a living brother, and try to make some kind of peace with him, as he is still your brother.