is there other gay couples that could give us information on the adoption process.?
we are a gay couple (thomas and joe) from tennessee we have been married for over 2 yrs now and would like to start a family. I know some people don’t agree with our lifestyle but we have alot of love to give a child. we do not fit the “typical” gay stereotypes. we dont party drink or do drugs and neither of us have ever been arrested or in trouble with the law. we have good jobs we work in the nuclear industry. we are very down to earth love animals, camping fishing hiking basically anything outdoors. we know the adoption process is going to be long and difficult but if there is any other gay or lesbian couples out there that have already gone through the adoption process we would appreciate any help or advice you could give us. we would also take advice or help from straight people that may have been involved with a gay adoption.
sorry about the typical gay comment about drinking and doing drugs that totally came out wrong and i didn’t want to offend anyone. all i am saying is gays get alot of negativity through t.v. and the news media, and it has been my experience that alot of gays are more interested in the club scene than actually settling down and starting a family. i know there are couples out there that are in love and are committed to each other. sorry again if my earlier comment seemed like i was saying all gays did drugs and drank alot all i meant to say is that we are a stable couple thats not into the partying scene.
Sorry I can’t answer your question as I haven’t had any experience with the adoption process at all (and I am not answering this for the points – I never got why people are so hung up on getting points, they mean nothing!)… I just wanted to offer you my support and wish you well. I dread to think how many narrow minded people you must encounter and I sincerely hope you don’t get any here… and I, for one, have never associated gay people with drink, drugs and crime! You sadly get many inadequate straight parents out there, but nobody thinks about them when they are so quick to judge two loving, genuine people. Best of luck – I’m sure you’ll make fantastic parents and be able to give your child or children a brilliant start in life. Sorry I couldn’t be any help to you, but I hope you find it elsewhere
In my state gay couples can adopt as a couple. That means that they can adopt through foster care or through private adoption just like anyone else. International adoption is trickier because it goes by both the rules of your state and the rules of the foreign country. There are a number of foreign countries that don’t let gay couples adopt. If you wanted to do international adoption in one of those, one of you would have to adopt as a single male – something a few countries also don’t allow.
I just did a quick search & found this link for Tennessee
http://www.nashvillecitypaper.com/news.php?viewStory=57746
I think that means that you could adopt as a couple there.
I don’t think it’s “typical” for gay men to party, drink, and do drugs.
Hey, we are a lesbian couple who adopted 5 kids and have guardianship of their 2 youngest siblings. If you want to talk about non “typical” gay families, try being moms of 7 kids! Most of the gay people run quickly in the other direction…lol.
Anyhow, we did it through foster care. Only one parent was allowed to be on the foster care license, but both were considered the parents. When we adopted, only one was able to be on the birth certificates, but we are filing for second-parent adoption rights…although I think it’s only a piece of paper. I don’t have one that says I am married, but definitly consider myself married. We had a ceremony almost 3 years ago and have been together for over 5 years.
You know as a gay family how hard it is and how you have to stay persistant. I know that if you have gotten this far with your partner, you know that people will disagree. But what matters is that there are kids in foster care who are aging out of the system and left with next to nothing. They need parents and so many of them don’t care if their parents are single, married, straight, or gay. They just want to belong.
Also, gay and lesbian foster parents are more likely to take sibling groups and kids with disabilities. Please, please, please consider calling your local Children’s Division and becoming foster parents (or foster to adopt). Good luck on this journey and you can email me if you want to talk more about this.
ETA: Looney Tunes, I would have adopted you! I have said it before and I will say it again, I hope that my girls turn out like you have. You are such a strong person!
Try Foster Care, there are many kids that are aging out of the system everyday
heres another gay couple i met online by chance a couple months ago that may be able to offer help or advice or even just someone to chat with that knows what your going through..good luck and god bless
http://www.myspace.com/daddyandpapadotnet
Hello. I don’t have any comment on the adoption process, but I do want to comment on something. There are many kids in foster care who need families and you sound like you both are stable, caring and have interests that would really help foster kids —> animals,camping, outdoors, etc. There have been studies that have shown that foster kids do well connecting with animals and the outdoors.
You might consider foster-to-adopt. There are children of all ages, races, and both genders that need families.
Additionally, there are many gay foster children who no-one wants because they are gay. This is a BIG issue in foster care reform. You and your partner are in a perfect situation to provide homes for these young people and be perfect models for them.
I know there may be alot of assholes that say “gay people should not raise children”. Don’t listen to them. When the AIDS epidemic was affecting children, guess who stepped up to care for the children in foster care who had HIV/AIDS….Gay couples.
IGNORE THEM WHEN YOU GET THOSE COMMENTS.
I was a foster kid who was never adopted. I would have been so happy to be in a home like yours, because it sounds like you and your partner are stable, caring, and understanding.
Good luck to you.
We Bea’s (or Bee) must think alike I totally agree with Bee. Good luck!! As a foster parent children just want to be loved and taken care of it sounds like you can do it. Please think about foster care.
I just want to say I hope you get your dream family soon!
I have an odd story to share.
After the birth of my daughter I wanted to give everyone children! It is absolutely amazing. I myself want 10 kids.
Unfortunately my health does not let me meet the requirement to be a serrogate.
I always said the next best thing (this might be strange) was to live with a gay (male) couple, and have babies for them. That way i could be a mother as well as give someone a family that would otherwise struggle to have one. I know that that was wishful thinking. But I even put it out there as a thought among my community of gay friends.
I am now currently 27 weeks pregnant, when the father found out and bailed on me, I quickly opted for adoption. The first things I wanted in adoptive parents were a gay couple. Just because I thought they might have a tougher time adopting. I live in california, it took us how long to even legalise gay marraige.
So, the point is? There is none… except there are people out there like me, who would like to see my child go to a loving family, no matter what their lifestyle is.