Revise My Paper For Me?
(Anything helps, ranging from better words to use, punctuation, you know all the good stuff).
A Life Changing Decision
Revision Copy
Throughout time, societies experience diverse kinds of obstacles. Undoubtedly, there is always a cause and effect, no matter how big or small the action. The decisions I make mold me into an ever changing person, willing to learn from obstacles placed in front of me today and the obstacles I will inevitably face in the future. All along I had been training during the summer, attending basketball camps, team practices and even open gym play. Leading into the off season, I found myself in a state of tranquility, because I have applied so much effort into something I truly enjoyed. My junior year in high school; there was a possibility of moving to a different state. A week or so later, our first home game would begin on a Friday night and I was so excited. Though one day after school, all my excitement would vanish, as my father had some news he needed to discuss. We were moving! I got upset and questioned my father, “Why do we have to move to Claremore, Oklahoma?” He sat me down gently, and said, “Son, this is how I provide for you and at this time this is what is best!” Subsequently, I was able to realize I can’t control everything. I believe, in life we make sacrifices, in order to prosper and lead a fruitful life. Reason being, the basketball coach at Claremore high school; witnessed me scrimmage with his basketball team. Seeing how good I was, all he could come up with was some lame excuse, saying that you will be a bench player. Justifying his judgment, he added that, you don’t deserve the spot, because you’re not from around here. So I took it as an insult being that I had an ounce of ego in me, three of the varsity starters disagreed with their coaches’ decision on not starting me. On, but still to this day my passion burns deep within me; when I play the game of basketball. I see now that these obstacles made me stronger, but only because I let them. This is the cause and effect of obstacles, and I can only be proud of where it has led me.
That paper has no, and i mean no, errors. Wow you are good.
There is some incorrect usage of the semi-colon. There are also some other small things.
Revision Copy
Throughout time, societies experience diverse kinds of obstacles. Indubitably, every action, no matter how small or inconsequential seeming, will have some effect. The decisions I make mold me into an ever changing person, willing to learn from obstacles placed in front of me today and the obstacles I will inevitably face in the future. All along, I had been training during the summer, attending basketball camps, team practices and even open gym play. Leading into the off season, I found myself in a state of tranquility, mostly because I had applied so much effort into something I truly enjoyed. My junior year in high school, I learned that there was a possibility of moving to a different state. A week or so later, our first home game was about to begin on a Friday night, and I was so excited. Unfortunately, in just one afternoon, all my excitement would vanish, as my father had some news he needed to discuss. He abruptly dumped the news on me: we were moving! Moving? I got upset and questioned my father, “Why do we have to move to Claremore, Oklahoma?”
Dialogue should be separated by a line for different people speaking.
He sat me down gently and said, “Son, this is how I provide for you, and at this time, this is what is best!” Subsequently, I came to realize that I can’t control everything. I believe that in life, we make sacrifices in order to prosper and lead a fruitful life. My realization was confirmed when the basketball coach at Claremore high school witnessed me scrimmage with his basketball team. Seeing how good I was, all he could come up with was some lame excuse saying that I would be a bench player. Justifying his judgment, he added that I didn’t deserve the spot, because I was not from around here, an outsider. I took it as an insult, seeing as I had an ounce of ego in me and thought he was being biased. My beliefs were founded: three of the varsity starters disagreed with their coaches’ decision on not starting me. To this day, my passion burns deep within me when I play the game of basketball. I see now that these obstacles made me stronger, but only because I let them. Obstacles are like hurdles on the path of life; only the strong can clear them and become even stronger.