How do I deal with a controlling Aunt?
I am leaving to stay at my aunt’s house in Fairbanks,Alaska on Saturday night.I’m staying for 3 weeks She is very controlling. Literally, when I am around her I am shy and totally not myself. Anyway, she doesn’t mind her own business and one time she wanted me to do TMI (Teen Missions International) which is a fundamentalist bible camp (I am now agnostic) and you have to wear skirts the whole time and it’s a whacko religious camp. So, I talked to my dad about it and said I didn’t want to go. He didn’t want me to go so I emailed her and told her to not book a ticket to Belize, where the TMI thing was located, and she flipped a bitch and called me a predator (that really hurt me bad) and said “I was secular and needed to find the light back to g*d.”
Also, a couple years ago (2008) she tried to get me emancipated and wanted me to live with her mom (my grandma) and I was only 13 at the time, so I was naive and since she was so controlling if things don’t go her own way, she freaks out, I didn’t want upset her. I am older now (16) and looking back I see she is a psycho who is controlling. So, me and my mom and dad have strong feelings about the whole TMI thing and we were talking about my trip there, and now I am debating whether or not I should go up there for 3 weeks.
The only reason I am going up there and am in communication with her again is because after she freaked about me not going to the bible camp, we didn’t talk to her for about 9 months and then she called one day after we saw each other at my uncle’s wedding, and we “made up”. Her kids home school and I don’t go to school. I unschool. and she doesn’t have a TV up there “because they get no signal” in that ghetto snow town of theirs. Also, I have a laptop that I will will be bringing up there and she said I can’t keep it in my cousin (her step daughter’s room) and I won’t be able to go on my iPod touch. She also calls her step-kids dumb and stupid and literally spends every waking moment of her life insulting those kids and spends all her time god damn spoiling her own biological kid.
She married a guy who had 3 kids from a previous marriage and now my aunt had a kid with the 3 kid’s dad. Their biological mother signed papers and now my aunt is legally her and their dad’s kids. The 3 kid’s biological mother only sees them on visitation and that’s not frequent;y because of my aunt is very controlling. I am agnostic and they are fundamentalist baptist christian..I don’t even know what to call it. And believe in courting (supervised dating pretty much). And, the kid’s only listen to christian music and I listen to “secular” music. Also, I have my nose pierced and I have two upper ear piercings, so I am sure she probably thinks i am “heathen” or something, but doesn’t say it. I could tell she didn’t like my piercings.
My mom,me and my brother and sister recently went to my grandma’s (where she is staying at) because she came down here for 2 weeks for a doctor’s appt. and I am going to fly back with her. Anyway, she is so intimidating. I couldn’t even listen to my iPod because it was “too loud” and I had headphones on! If I am not going to be able to go on my laptop or ipod when I am up there, then I might as well, just not go.
Here’s the kicker: When I was 12, my mom suddenly started hearing voices and has Schizophrenia, and I just need to get away from her for a little bit. But, the only place is my aunt’s house who is a controlling bitch! It’s like I need to get away, but it seems like I am going to get away from my mom’s stressful situation, but then run right back into another stressful situation, which would be my controlling aunt!!
I don’t know what to do! Should I go or not? 3 weeks is a hell of a long time. I know she just wants to control me, and every time I go stay with her, she tries to plant ideas in my head. Like, going to college up there (HELL NO!) and talking shit about my dad and she is the total gossip queen.
I costs $225 to change the plane ticket, so she would flip a bitch, but I think my dad said he would pay her the $225 if I didn’t want to go.
Should I go or not?
Thank you!
*If there is spelling errors, I am sorry. I am just trying to figure out whether or not I should go.
I don’t know what to do!
Hey
your aunt does sound crazy!
I would say think about this, if she were to die soon after your trip is supposed to take place would you feel bad about not having visited?
I say do things in life so you have no regrets.
But at the same time 3 weeks of nonsense! Instead of your aunt setting all thses rules and regulations this is what I would do.
I would send of an email telling your aunt that you love her and would love to visit, but that due to your lifestyle and school you must insist on a few things : like using you ipod, your laptop as often as you need. Oh and if she must not lecture you on god. If she doesnt agree than you will have to, regretfully decline to go, but that the choice is up to your aunt. I mean, your a girl travelling alone in a new place, she should be trying to make YOU feel more comfortable, not the other way around.
If she gives you the “well my kids…” do the “well i am not your kids, i am you niece and am visiting.” .
leave it in her court. Personally i say if she doesnt agree to YOUR terms, i wouldnt go. But i am also very agaisnt people pushing thier religious shit up in my grill lol…
Its hard becuase thier family, but youhave to also ask, is it goof for you…
good luck
No dont go. How dare she try to force you to be something that your not. Not very christian like of her is it? Stay at home where you can be yourself. I know your mums condition is stressful and it must be hard for you but surely there are places you could go to escape for a while and friends you can talk to. Also your dad sounds lovely and supportive and it sounds like he,s on your side anyway so to put it bluntly. F**k your aunt off and stay at home. To be honest she doesnt sound like a very nice person anyway.